As a person who has multiple sclerosis, thank you for this - it resonated deeply within me. I'm not on an immunosuppressant or B-cell depleter like a lot of my fellow MSers, so my immune system is at its full range. I get maybe two stomach bugs a decade; hubby gets one if it's within a hundred-mile radius. I tell people my immune system is just waiting for something to get close enough so it can pimp-slap it, lol. I really enjoyed this story!
60
u/An_Insufferable_NEWT
We’ve reached the top of the mountain and we can’t climb any higher. Is this your post? Because it’s the peak
29
u/Underhill42
Good story, great finish.
Though I kept rebelling against the misrepresented human immune system - one of us doesn't really understand how it works.
It is not intelligent and doesn't meaningfully customize or refine designs - it generates massive numbers of random antibodies, filters out any that would attack your own body, and then releases the rest to see if anything works. And assuming something eventually works, stores a record of that particular design to make more of, and to try early on against future infections (at least until something like measles erases the records).
The antibodies themselves though are NOT adaptive, and so wouldn't work against something that adapts against them - to adapt to an adapting disease, you need the entire adaptive system, not just the end products that worked in a particular situation.
24
u/SanderleeAcademy
Magnificent work. As I've seen from a few other threads, the argument over adaptive immune systems can get a bit heated. This story, regardless of "the science," really strikes a nerve, in a good way.
I think this line, however, sums up the beauty of the story.
"It's just what people do," she said. "When they're trying to be worth something."
HFY, but not in a "humans scary, our tech is ridiculous, we be angry, we yeet rocks" way, but in a "no better friend" way.
Marvelous.
!n
20
u/BasquerEvil
On of the best stories I've read on here... and way better researched then most
11
u/rewt66dewd
!N
"What courage looks like when it has had time to think." Beautifully said.
11
u/elfangoratnight
I suspect that what Sevik had never encountered before is an entire species that collectively, as a gestalt entity, acts like a sort of immune system.
The drive to self-sacrifice, as paradoxically destructive as it seems on the surface, is a way for the species to survive better in aggregate.
In a way, Mara was just like a human version of a B-cell.
Humanity, Fuck Yeah indeed! 🌟 💪 🎉
9
u/DreamSofie
I liked that, really well written, good pacing, with solid choices about what to reveal, and what to leave unsaid. I did feel quite curious about how your extraterrestrial civilisations made in out of their cradle, after evolving enough executive function to turn selfish, and suppress instincts beneficial to survival of species. But already leaving things to the imagination throughout the story, unsatisfied curiousity caused by the ending did not dent the story. Tfs.
5
u/patient99
There's a story from a while back called something like "strong constitution" or maybe just Constitution, that talks about the human immune system, kind of. The story makes several insinuations without ever coming out and saying it. A sort of summery: earth would be considered a plague planet, coming here would result in death by bacterial or viral infection, they don't directly say this though, and the procedure for plague planets is to purge them, humans never let anyone visit earth so the aliens don't know what it is and as such aren'tpart of the galacticcouncil since it would requiresomeone to visit their homeworld, humans are always seem wearing insulating suits, and the alien talking assumes it's because they're stuck up. He starts to peice things together when the human he's talking to has loads of equipment from alien races known to be violent and that don't often trade, ge chooses to indirectly ask about it.
5
u/udsd007
More, please‼️ Lovely premise. Mara, Sevik, and the Reshape all are excellent characters.
5
u/Attamark
!N
Great story about some of the intangible things in the human condition when faced with a crisis. It deserves more recognition than it currently has!
4
u/thefeckamIdoing
MY kind of HFY… the kind I always tried to write.
Find the thing that makes us special- and it can be small. For me it was things like humour, or attitude, or a myriad of other quirks of character. This was wonderful. Easily my favourite story in quite some time.
Bravo wordsmith. Bravo.
4
u/zachpkenyon
"It's just what people do," she said. "When they're trying to be worth something."
That's the one. That's what hits. Thank you
3
u/rebelkitty
Interesting story, would be a lot better if it didn't cut off before the end.
3
u/westaussieheathen
Damn good story, thank you.
3
u/Light-Breeze-9805
Superb... sublime... Touched every single cord ! Thank you for sharing
3
u/Paxmcgee
Bravo!
3
u/Electronic_Mud5821
Wonderful story, I really liked it.
Why does my mind feel like it is a recruitment ad ?
Damn the current state of the world, I am sorry.
3
u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom
I loved this and I cried. I think I needed it. Thank you.
2
u/sirbinlid1
That was truly excellent, thank you for sharing
2
u/OneTrueSneaks
This is a genuinely beautiful story, and it had me trying to read through blurry vision through most of it. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for sharing it with the world.
2
u/Giant_Acroyear
!N
2
u/HFYWaffle
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u/Morridiyn
A good story, but it looks like it got cut off
1
u/Traveller1977
cuts off halfway
1
u/Neither-Animator3403
The story seems to be cut short?
1
u/Blue_Blurb_Boi
I really like this! A lot of people don't realize how many essential functions in human bodies have approximately arose from foreign bacteria that worked its way into our cells and helped more than harmed. A very eye-opening take on life without adaptive immunity
1
u/SomethingTouchesBack
!N
1
u/s4ndbend3r
!N
1
u/WSpinner
!N
1
u/SandsnakePrime
Exquisite. Moving. Beautiful.
I am in awe, Wordsmith.
1
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Why do I think that at the end of this story, there will be a human who ends up with a dozen Ha'quinye wives?
12
u/DrewTheHobo
I am once again saying that I think Joan will lead a crusade to bring religiosity to the fuzzy wuzzies(and by that I mean save the men and overthrow the Matricians), granted I’m betting the Catholic angle will come in hard here for lower and middle class.
11
u/KamchatkasRevenge
Like the story? Check Out The Exclusive Perks on Patreon! Or Buy Me A Beer!
Chylde's Archive
Check The Entire Series Out On Amazon!
6
u/BoysenberryMother128
Woohoo!!
Early chapter!!!
Am I speed??
Hehehe!!!
UTR!!
This is the way!!
Edit: so, the setup continues and the plan starts to take shape... I like it!
A couple of weeks past I commented on a webcomic that it reminded me of those old comic strips on the sunday newspapers. The expectancy to read the next installment, the unfolding of the story in short bursts, the cavilalitions of the story direction... And that's exactly what I'm getting with your work, Kyle's, and a couple of other wordsmiths in Reddit. Thank you!! (And yes, I'm old enough to remember comic strips on the sunday paper...)
6
u/thisStanley
one of his few civilian suites suits
autocorrupt? set of rooms vs clothing
as opposed to treating them like literal property
When "2nd" class citizen is still too high, and you need to use scientific notation :{
6
u/Gadburn
Looks like its time to give these discout Thalmor degenerates a taste of some HFY!
5
u/JWatkins_82
Woot New Chapter
3
u/d_baker65
Why do I suddenly want to date a Ginormous Snake Woman.
3
u/Dramatic_Mixture_877
Third!
3
u/HFYWaffle
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u/d_baker65
Why do I suddenly want to date a Ginormous Snake Woman.
2
u/Right_Bell3252
well, I think this is the soonest I have yet been able to post, looking forward to the inevitable Undaunted response to this would be empire.
2
u/itsetuhoinen
"Change forced upon a people without the will of the people..."
Yes. Rather.
2
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u/unkindlyacorn62
so propaganda plus getting one of their men to kill the matrons?
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u/Cavetroll01
Greetings wordsmith.
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u/Talendel
UTR
This is the way.
1
u/JWatkins_82
NEXT BUTTON IS MISSING
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So far nothing out of the oryginal one but hey it still super cool
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u/HFYWaffle
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u/ProfessorWorking3763
"...the lab door once again slid open to reveal a suited one now staring directly at me."
Samael: Ooh DoorDash!
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u/KanadianKitsune
it demonstrates remarkable resistance or even outright immunity to [...] the synthetic VX nerve toxin.
Breaking News! Organism without nerves or muscles survives chemical agent that disrupts the function of motor neurons!
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u/kristinpeanuts
Thanks for the chapter!
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u/animeshshukla30
Great chapter! And i agree, no matter how evil the scientist, no one is stupid enough to be thrilled about the military turning the alien organism into a weapon.
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u/ChiliAndRamen
Intrigue
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1
u/un_pogaz
When you catch the child with their tendrils in the cookie jar.
I really need some of that good crab goo, just put me in the goo boss.
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u/kristinpeanuts
Thanks for the chapter!
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02:00 PM - The First Lift
Noah consumed a piece of Mana-Sage tea to keep himself upright. He focused on the trench. He pulled the earth upward, flowing it into the space he'd cleared. Because he was Level 7, the earth felt more like clay in his hands, more responsive.
[MANA: 100 -> 10] (Regen included)
Slowly, a new wall began to rise. It wasn’t 10 feet yet, it was a 3-foot-high, thick, dark-grey "stub" that traced the 70x70 line. It looked like a scar across the forest floor.
05:00 PM - The Exposed Bailey
Noah was physically and magically exhausted. The 30x30 inner fort stood behind him, safe and spiked. But he was now standing in the "Bailey", the 20-foot wide gap between the old wall and the new, unfinished one.
"Noah," Cortana warned. "You are at 10 Mana. The new wall is only a low barricade. If the Bear was still alive, he'd step over this without slowing down. We are officially in the 'Danger Zone' of construction."
Annastasia stood at the inner gate, leaning on her new Cold Steel Longsword. She looked out at the deepening shadows of the forest. The violet light was fading into a murky indigo.
"The forest feels our work, Noah," she said, her voice low and warrior-sharp. "The birds have gone silent. Something is watching the new line."
Miya was up in the Sentinel Spire, her eyes darting across the landscape. "I see eyes!" she called down. "Small ones. Many of them. Not bears... Skulkers. They know you are drained."
[DAY 14 PROGRESS]
Foundation: 100% Complete.
Wall Height: 3ft / 10ft.
Mana: 12 / 200.
The Evening Crisis:
The pack of Skulkers, perhaps twenty of them, led by a larger Alpha, circled the new 70x70 perimeter. They hadn't crossed the 3-foot "stub" wall yet, but they were testing it.
"Everyone, back to the Citadel! Move!"
Noah didn't wait to see if they followed. He grabbed Nugget by his scruff, ignoring his indignant chitter, and ushered Miya and Anna through the gap in the inner 30x30 spike-wall. Anna moved with a grim, focused efficiency, her hand tight on the hilt of the Cold Steel longsword. Once everyone was inside, Noah slid the heavy Ironbark-reinforced earth slab shut.
Clack-thud.
The Citadel was sealed. They were safe behind six feet of petrified earth and a forest of Ironbark spikes.
"Miya, watch the gate. Anna, stay near the lodge," Noah commanded, his voice raspy from the day's labor.
He scrambled up the spiral stairs of the Sentinel Spire. His legs felt like lead, and his vision swam with the "Mana-Ache," but as he reached the top and rested the Savage Axis on the parapet, the world narrowed down to the crosshairs.
Outside, the Skulkers had crossed the 3-foot "stub" wall. They were in his Bailey, sniffing at the freshly turned soil of the garden and the iron ore in the pit. The Alpha, a lean, scarred beast the size of a mountain lion, stood atop the pile of iron ore, letting out a series of sharp, clicking barks. It was a call to the pack to begin the feast.
"Target locked," Cortana whispered. "Distance: 25 yards. High angle. Noah, you're shaking. Take a breath. Hold it. Squeeze."
CRACK-BOOM.
The .308 muzzle flash lit up the twilight. The bullet caught a Skulker right as it was about to bite into a zucchini vine. The creature was tossed backward, its chest cavity collapsing from the impact of the soft-point round.
The pack froze. They looked at their fallen comrade, then up at the tower.
CRACK-BOOM.
The second shot took another Skulker near the well. It didn't even scream; it just dropped into the mud.
The Alpha snarled, its hackles rising. It looked up at him, baring its needle-like teeth. It seemed to be weighing its hunger against the "Lightning-Staff" in the tower. Noah lined up the vertical line of the reticle right between its glowing amber eyes.
He didn't fire. He just waited.
"Psychological warfare, Noah," Cortana said. "Let him feel the scope on his brain."
The Alpha blinked. It let out a frustrated, low-frequency hiss and turned, leaping back over the 3-foot outer wall into the safety of the deep violet ferns. The rest of the pack followed suit, a chaotic scramble of grey fur and clicking tails.
[THREAT NEUTRALIZED: PACK DISPERSED]
[XP GAINED: 60]
[LEVEL 7: 610/800 XP]
[AMMO CHECK: 29 ROUNDS REMAINING]
Status: Mana: 15 / 200 (Regenerating). Stamina: 15 / 210 (Severely Exhausted). Balance: $345.00.
Noah let out a long, shaky breath and leaned his forehead against the cold earth of the battlement.
"That should keep them at bay for the night," Cortana said. "But they'll be back. They saw the 'weakness' of the outer line. We need to finish that wall tomorrow, Noah. No more distractions."
He climbed down the stairs. Miya was waiting at the bottom, looking up at him with a mix of concern and admiration.
"The lightning spoke," she said softly. "The garden is safe. For tonight."
Anna was sitting on the porch of the lodge, the Cold Steel blade resting across her lap. She looked at the rifle in his hand. "A warrior who can strike from the he
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u/GumGodGaming
Good part well done Wordsmith
You may want to pin the comment part so it stays at the top (I think Reddit lets you do that?) ... with sort by best on the bots are before it
1
u/Grimkytel
You've got a couple repeated paragraphs in the Day 14 Agenda section. Looks like you were correcting/ tweaking and didn't clean things up correctly.