You should post this in the AC sub. I think people will be more receptive there. It's a bit too niche for this one.
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u/Desperate_Acadia_298
It’s a simulation of memories. So you’re not actually killing anyone. Despair meter: 0.
There I saved you a lot of trouble.
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u/SplayFull
Make a YouTube video houle have an audience for those types of runs
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u/coolwali
Here's Part 2 I couldn't fit in the main post:
Sequence 13: Bonfire of My Patience
Sequence 13 Memory 1: Florentine Fiasco The mission starts with Ezio needing to sneak into Florence, which is now under Savonarola's control. The city is crawling with guards. Fighting is everywhere. But the objective is simple: reach Machiavelli without being detected.
I blend with monks. I avoid patrols. I use the chaos of street battles as cover. For once, the mission doesn't demand blood. Just patience.
I reach Machiavelli. He explains the situation. Savonarola has used the Apple to control Florence's leaders. They're oppressing the citizens on his behalf. To stop him, we need to eliminate his nine lieutenants.
Nine forced kills.
The number settles in my stomach like lead.
Memory 2: Still Life
The first lieutenant is an artist, preaching that art is corruption and beauty is temptation and everything should burn.
It’s the most Florence sentence imaginable, and it makes me feel sick.
The mechanics don’t care how I feel. The mechanics want an assassination, and so they get one. Hidden blade. Quiet. Efficient.
The confession is worse than the kill. He admits he wasn’t forced. He believed. His self-doubt did the rest.
+1 Hidden Blade kill. +1 Enemy killed in a fight.
Memory 3: Climbing the Ranks
This mission is basically “run.” Guards everywhere, archers everywhere, and the target is above you like Ubisoft is trying to remind you that even righteousness still has a vertical difficulty curve.
You can finish it without a direct kill if you’re lucky and fast enough, which is maybe the cruelest part: the sequence keeps showing me tiny doors out of violence, and then locking the next nine in my face.
+0 to everything.
Memory 5: Last Rites
A priest on the Duomo, praying for deliverance while the city rots beneath him.
It’s hard not to hear the irony in the Latin. Harder not to hear the exhaustion in Ezio’s “Requiescat in pace.”
He’s older now. So am I, in a way. Not in years, but in the number of times I’ve had to tell myself, “This is necessary,” and pretend that makes it lighter.
Hidden blade. Another notch. Another name.
+1 Hidden Blade kill. +1 Enemy killed in a fight.
Memory 6: Port Authority
This is the one that weaponizes my anxiety. If anyone sees you, you desync. The game doesn’t want you to fail because you were violent. It wants you to fail because you were noticed.
I successfully used the "Superblend" glitch here. I clung to the ship like a barnacle, invisible to the guards' eyes despite being three feet away from them. I felt clever. I felt like a master of the system.
And then I reach the merchant, who is calmly explaining how starving people is a good way to make them obedient.
The Apple didn’t invent that idea. It just made it easier to say out loud.
Hidden blade. Quick. No spectacle.
+1 Hidden Blade kill. +1 Enemy killed in a fight.
Memory 8: Hitting the Hay
A farmer is hoarding hay like it’s a moral crusade. He talks about resources, about economy, about “simple” work being vital.
I almost respect the honesty of it. Oppression doesn’t always wear armor. Sometimes it wears practical boots and tells you it’s for your own good.
Hidden blade again. And again the confession doesn’t absolve him. He wanted respect. He wanted to be seen. He got power instead, and used it to tighten the noose.
+1 Hidden Blade kill. +1 Enemy killed in a fight.
Memory 10: Doomsday
The preacher is the worst one because he’s loud.
He screams about famine and disease and corruption like he’s auditioning for a modern comment section. The crowd listens because fear is convincing, and because it’s easier to follow someone who promises certainty than it is to admit you don’t know what comes next.
When Ezio kills him, he says the quiet part out loud:
He didn’t need deception. He already believed.
There’s no Apple to blame. No mind control to point at. Just a man who chose this, and a city that let him.
Hidden blade. Another prayer. Another “this is not easy.”
+1 Hidden Blade kill. +1 Enemy killed in a fight.
Sequence 13: Memory 11: Power to the People.
Savonarola drops the Apple. A generic Agile guard picks it up. "Surely," I thought, "I can just tackle him."
I chased him. I tackled him. He stood up.
I punched him. He shrugged it off.
I threw smoke bombs. He coughed, then ran away.
This nameless NPC is immune to everything in the known universe except a sharp piece of metal in the gut.
+1 Hidden Blade Kill. +1 Enemy Killed in a Fight.
Sequence 13: Memory 12: Mob Justice
Savonarola is tied to a stake.
He’s screaming. He’s praying. He’s terrified.
Ezio says, out loud, that no one deserves to die in such pain.
And I agree. Completely.
So I end it quickly.
It’s mercy and it’s murder at the same time, and I don’t know which word feels heavier anymore.
+1 cutscene kill.
Only three memories in this whole sequence let me keep my hands clean: Florentine Fiasco, Climbing the Ranks, and Arch Nemesis.
Ev
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u/ttfnwe
This is very clever and I totally see the appeal. Happy you had fun.
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u/Lord-Newbie
Genuinely fun read lol - 1. Most likely since I'm a big AC Fan of the original (Desmond Arc) series. AC2 as one of my favorites games ever, and I also think of it as one the most revolutionary games of its era and most definitely if its genre. 2. You're a hilarious writer, which made this fun to read.
I've seen reviews on here that equally as long so I don't get the complaints, but maybe because those game happens to be their favorites and the original AC series doesn't have much fans (most are usually only fans of IV).
This was great, cheers!
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u/FrankConnor2030
A masterpiece. Please finish this. I want to know if Desmond finally cracks under the weight of his guilt. Also, you could carry this on to the next couple games as well. Ezio gets pretty old, a lot more opportunities for his morals to be tested.
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u/five_of_five
… yeah you should probably make videos
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u/squirrel_trot
This is actually hilarious. I love it.
5
u/Gummy_Joe
This is the kind of take on gameplay that would've done gangbusters in the ol' SomethingAwful Let's Play community. Fun read, thanks for sharing!
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u/en1mal
TLDR but incredibly comical doing a pacifist run in a game with the word "assassin" in the title. I love it srsly - I recognised that about myself - i always try to clear games lets say diplomatic and with as few casualties as possible and love games that actually have a framework that makes it possible. Stealth games are so cool.
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u/extraextraextr
"Ezio Audiobook" and "Desmond Miles Prower" had me laughing out loud for an embarrassingly long time. 😂 Thank you for this, I'm saving to read the whole way through ASAP.
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u/YouMeAndReneDupree
Lucy isn't played by Emma Stone, she's played by Kristen Bell.
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u/VariousAir
This is what this sub is for.
3
u/CheatcodeAU
the AC games are weirdly perfect for this kind of challenge because the assassination targets are technically "justice" but all the guards are just doing their jobs. played through AC2 normally and always felt a bit uncomfortable mass murdering city guards just to get through a crowd. this makes me want to revisit it with that lens
3
u/Kaleidoscope-360
Congratulations, you completed Creed 2
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u/Refloni
Very impressive, we will watch your career with great interest
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u/patientgamers-ModTeam
[removed]
1
u/-TheManWithNoHat-
I won't lie I kinda skimmed through this just to get to the part when you eventually have to beat the shit out of the pope
Sad it wasn't in this post, but I did read through it and holy shit it was entertaining
1
u/alttestbench
AC is my comfort game, atleast until Black Flag, then Ubisoft starting naming all their medeival simulators AC, with none of the gameplay or charm of the Desmond/Ezio games.
1
u/cdrex22
Always enjoy a good tale of playing a game the way it was super not intended to play (shoutout NBAY2K). I like the image of Ezio playing wall ball with the poor guards of the city while screaming "I am a pacifist!"
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u/nian2326076
If you want to beat Assassin's Creed 2 as a pacifist, focus on stealth and evasion. Avoid fights by blending into crowds and use smoke bombs to escape tight spots. Get good at parkour to move around without dealing with enemies. For tougher missions, find alternate paths or use distractions to get past guards. The game often lets you complete objectives without fighting, so be patient, and you'll find ways to achieve your goals peacefully.